What Not to Say to a Peanut-Allergy Sufferer

Things not to say:

1. “Just eat around it” or similarly, “Just pick them off”.

Typical of people who have no experience with food allergies, these statements are found at potlucks, picnics, and dinners out. The pressure hits when you are eating at someone’s house, have no one to support you, and don’t want to hurt the host/hostess’s feelings.

Eat, or not to eat?

2. “Just take your epipen.”

This one baffled me as I took my kids to a playgroup. The snack provided was labeled “may contain peanuts/peanut products” (which was unheard of at this playgroup). One mom made the above statement and my mouth dropped open. I was furious. She obviously was unaware how epinephrine takes over your body and virtually takes away your power to do anything. Who was going to look after my kids? How was I to get home? Or to the hospital? As I said, I was furious.

3. “Now you know what a reaction feels like.”

My mother loves this story. In my teens I started reacting to various food products that were unrelated to peanuts. We went to an allergist, and in the initial survey stated that I was allergic to peanuts but had not come in contact with any for two years (yay, us!). Therefore, according to the allergist, it was all in my head and they should check anyway, without my mother’s permission. I picture it now in slow motion. My arm is out, gradually getting pricked with various concoctions, the allergist puts her finger to her mouth and makes a “hmmm” sound, then pricks me with what I know she shouldn’t have. As I stretch my neck to look past her at my mom, mom’s eyes widen as she stands up (in slow motion, of course). I have turned beet red instantly and the spot on my arm is growing and swelling…the allergist says some sort of expletive and pulls open the cupboard doors searching for an antihistamine. After what felt like hours, the reaction had run it’s course and the allergist looked down in my face and said the above statement. I just about hit her. My mother just about hit her. Talk about a possible lawsuit. We just left her with the parking bill. Oh, and we never did find out about the other reactions.

4. “This one doesn’t have peanuts, so that one probably doesn’t either.”

We had a neighbour who offered me chocolates from a candy box. It went down like this: I would say “no, thank you” and she would get her son to bite into one. She would say the above statement, I would bite into one, and voila, mine would contain a peanut product. I would run home along the picket fences and vomit on the sidewalk. It was that fear of not hurting the hostess’s feelings. It may have only happened once, but it was a nightmare that I relived many times.

5. “Go on, just try it. My mom never uses peanut butter in these.”

A girlfriend in highschool said this when, unbeknownst to her, this was the one time her mother uses 1 1/2 cups of peanut butter in her macaroons. The result: a terrifying taxi ride and several shots of adrenaline at the hospital. But I will say this was one of those times my friends yelled real loud and got the right attention. They came to my rescue, rode with me to the hospital, and, of course, my friend’s mother felt terrible. Great friends are amazing but that was the last time I ever traded anything in my lunch.