Little Miss and Grade One

I admit, I had this written about six weeks ago and forgot to post it:

"So Little Miss is off to school this week with her brother - every day.

I knew I would be a little upset about this so I unconsciously made my world VERY busy, botched eight batches of cookie dough, made the van breakdown, got the dog sick, thereby keeping me from thinking of my childless days all week.  But when Mr. called to say he was coming home late I was surprised how perturbed I was.

"So I guess I am going to go try my hardest to get home on time, then." says he, after listening to a great deal of sighing coming at him from the phone.

For years I've been counting the minutes from 4pm to 5:30pm when Mr. Man walks in the door, scoops up the children, makes the perfect supper and saves me from insanity.  For years I have waded through what Mrs. Google calls "the witching hour" where sweet, lovely darlings turn into screaming, hungry beasts and I pray that this is the day Mr. will surprise me and pull in the drive.  Perhaps with flowers.

But today I had no screaming beasts nor sweet darlings, just me, my work, and an entire season of Friends reruns.  So why am I disappointed that he may be home late, if I do not need rescuing?

I think I'm lonely.

Ack, whatever.  Do I chat up the Jehovah's Witnesses and ask how their day is going?  Do I listen intently to telemarketers and buy up stock in hydro because they had such a nice voice?  Do I peer out my windows in hopes that a neighbour will be out and I can ask for an egg?

No, I did none of that.  I can't be lonely.

So what is this mixed feeling of melancholy, desperation, and uncomfortableness?  And how long will it last?  What will it take to cheer my spirits and be thankful for this new change in my day-to-day life?"

*****

So as I read this, six weeks later, I realize I have chatted up the Jehovah's witnesses, I have peered out the windows looking for neighbours, and I have even run to the phone thinking it is ringing, when in fact, it was in my imagination.   I was even pleased to see the health inspector at my shop door this week just to have conversation.

I have been blessed with spurts of Little Miss being home: a day with a cold, two days with a terrible ear infection, and one night and a day with the stomach flu. Not the best of reasons, but nice to have her, just the same.

"Mom, when is it that I get to go to school everyday?" She mumbles one night as I was brushing out her curls.  Ack, poor thing.  She's lonely being home.

I realize she is ready to be at school full time, and with the speed that she is learning to read and write I can finally be happy that she is there, with her brother, filling her mind with wonderful knowledge that she tells me all about when she gets home.

And perhaps a call from Mr. Man everyday at lunch is all I need.

Little Miss and the Cake Show

I'd heard about Canada's Baking and Sweets Show through Facebook, but really wasn't interested until it was announced that Duff Goldman, from Food Networks' "Ace of Cakes" was going to be there.  It wasn't him so much that I liked about the show, but his team of cake decorators, and how each of them had their own specialty.  If you want to hear more about me going on about the show click here.

Little Miss even likes "the cake show" and pulled out the DVD's the other day (perhaps to cheer me up since I had a cold).  "You know, he's coming to Canada in a couple of weeks," I said, "pretty close to here."

"Do you have to fly on a plane or can you drive to get there?"  She's measures things by vehicles now.

"Well, he'll have to take a plane, but we could drive." Of course she immediately wanted to go, but at that point I hadn't planned on taking the trip.  Eventually when the opportunity arose, I couldn't take her anyway.

But after a half-hour wait in line, I got him to sign the book for her :)