When going to a person's house for a casual, potlucky, snacky type of gathering:
1. Take your own snacks - and be prepared to share. I know a guy once who took a baked potato with him to every party. He ate only the potato and wouldn't share. Don't do that.
2. Make sure your snacks do not get put on a platter with other snacks. In other words; take your own platter and watch over it (without being obvious - you are supposed to share).
3. If there are a few contaminated items, then avoid them at all costs. Do not shake hands. Hug with your forearms. (If I could draw you a sketch, I would). If it's your kid with the allergy, put mitts on him, and maybe a surgeon's mask.
4. If the contamination in rampant, walk around with your elbows in, or arms in the air, and only stay the required time it takes to chat with your hostess, compliment her on her home, outfit or children.
5. Should you enjoy the conversation so much that you can't bare to leave, then DO NOT EAT, make chewing motions with your mouth, and smile, saying, "Oh, I couldn't. I am SO FULL!"
6. Stay away from squares, anything beige or brown, or any cheese balls with a crunchy look to them. If the ingredients aren't listed anywhere in the kitchen, or recycling, or trash - don't eat it. (I am known for going through recycling to find containers).
8. Take a friend who will tackle people if necessary, or politely ask them to take their cookies to their car (oh, yeah, it's happened).
9. Wash hands regularly. And face, and arms, and neck. Chances are they'll think you're in the bathroom because of food poisoning, and then no one will eat.
10. Don't freak out when others stare - they may be looking for a reason to call 911. (aka the superman complex) Give your neck a scratch or two, and watch their eyes bug out! Everyone needs a little Christmas drama.
Sure hope this helps. We nutters have to stick together :)
1 comment:
Neck scratching? HAHAHA! :)
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