Dumb and Dumber

One day, when I was supposed to be teaching parabolas to my grade 11's, I stopped mid-lesson and told them a story. [I did this often as grade 11 math can be soooo dry.]

As a teenager I was part of a youth group. Each year near the end of the season, we would plan a campout at a nearby Ontario Park. One year we went up to Bon Echo Lake (some students smiled and nodded as they'd been there with their outdoor education class). We got out of the vehicles, and unloaded our gear, happy to have the drive done.

Now our youth group was from a small country church which consisted of a few misfits (I was the exception, of course) thrown together. There were these three guys; one very tall and thin, shaggy brown hair and big square glasses; another, called Red, with freckles and a really thick red mullet; and the third; a shorter version of the first guy, named after the Duke's of Hazard: I can't mention real names, but his parents seriously included Wayne, Beau, and Luke in his name.

So back to the trip. As I said we all got off the bus, and were really excited about being there. Red ran right over to the lake, stepped in a bit and dove in. Now if you know the beach I am talking about, it is all pebbly and shallow, and you do not go diving into it off the shore. He came up, holding his head, bleeding from the mouth and soon realized he'd pushed his front teeth in.

But of course, since we'd just got there he didn't want to ruin the campout so he kept his accident to himself and his two buddies.

Gradually throughout the afternoon as we set up our tents and got the campfire started, one of the leaders noticed Red throwing up behind a bush. After speaking with him for a few minutes, it came about that he'd been walking around the perimeter of the campsite all afternoon, throwing up from what was most likely a concussion.

So the gig was up, and Red was sent to a nearby hospital. He tall, lanky friend had brought a car, and because he didn't want to miss out on the action, the Duke-ster went with. We found out later, after they were safely back, that while Red continued to be sick out the front window for the entire drive, the Duke-ster, while watching his friend's poor state, proceeded to get sick out the back window!

Needless to say, the tall, lanky guy got an extra marshmallow that night, and my students had difficulty getting back to work.